Not Even SuperGlue Could Fix Meh

I think I'm broken. I don't know what's wrong with meh but lately all I'm doing is crying & cutting. When it started a couple days ago I thought it was just a fluke like it was going to go away. But it's been almost a week. It's not going away. I don't know what's wrong. I really want this feeling to stop. It's making meh miserable. I can't tell what's the cause of it either. Is it just meh or my relationship or the fact that my life is going nowhere. I just want it all to STOP. I haven't felt like this since, well I can't remember when. That's how long it's been. I've been up all night crying for the past 5 days & slitting my wrist in the middle of the day. There's no more room on my wrist. I'm going to have to move to another part of my body.

For the first time I'm seriously starting to feel like William is what's causing this.
Like if I have him out of my life, I won't feel this way anymore. It's starting to seem like a real good idea. It's all really confusing. I love him so much & I don't wanna lose him but it's not fair how he makes meh feel. I thought things were getting better, they did for about a week but it's just not working out.
I can't wait for therapy. I'm thinking about asking her to admit meh into the mental hospital again. I need to go before I hurt myself out here. I need to be some place where there are no triggers. My laptop & the internet is the root of all evil. It's gonna be the death of meh yet. I don't even wanna sleep all day. It makes meh feel so useless like my bed use to the be the other place I was safe & now I'm having nightmares. I don't even wanna stay in bed all day.I can't believe that my life is breaking down in front of meh. More like I'm breaking down in front of it. It's fucking 5am & I'm up blogging. This is so wrong. How is this happening to meh?! I can't deal with this anymore. I want things to go right so bad & now I'm coming to accept that they're not b/c I'm never gonna be right myself. I'm hopeless. I can't fucking believe this is...I just don't know...

Btw, this is my 100th post to this blog *throws a mini party* Yayy!!!