I Am God -Will [Haha, I'm dating Jesus]

That's what Will said. He was joke but still I feared I would get struck by lightening just for being in the same room with him. That's not the first time he's made a remark like that either. He once said while we were riding on the expressway that he's more powerful that Jesus b/c Jesus is imaginary. Well by that logic I'm more powerful that a vampire b/c some think they are imaginary. Just b/c he looks like Jesus doesn't mean he IS him. He has some kinda callus or piece of skin on his finger. It's rough & jagged. I guess from playing guitar or basketball. I'm not sure. He kept rubbing it against my skin saying "I 'm God, I spite thee" He kept repeating those words. I'm sitting in his room basically naked b/c it's hot here. I have on bra & undies. It really hurt. I'm like dude, stop! He can be so annoying sometimes.I was like how would you like it if I annoyed you? He said you do! Eh, I'm not denying that. I can't help it. It's part of my many disorders. He doesn't have an excuse.

I wanna learn to play guitar. He's excellent at it. Who better to teach meh? He promised to teach meh when we first started dating. I just asked him about it. He was like that was before I knew you were incapable of learning. Ugh, insult #1. I'm like are u fucking serious. Some things he says are jokes.I'm not sure that was one. Eh, it wouldn't be such a good idea anyhow. He'd just put meh down when I missed a note & I'd totally give up on it. When all you hear is negative, it goes into your head and fucks with you. I promise I felt so much better about myself before him & his family.

Last night in the grocery store, we were playing around. I asked him was he gonna ditch meh when he got to Hollywood.He said who's going to Hollywood? In my mind I think that everyone who dreams of being rich & famous has to go to Hollywood but I just realized that's only if you wanna act. He was like but of course I am. I'm like ugh. He asked what I was gonna do with my life? I said nothing, one day when you're rich & famous, I'll be famous. I don't need his money. He said no, you won't. I'm gonna hide you. Dude, that's so mean! He was like why don't u be a model? I said "oh now, you agree with it since your friend mentioned it" He's like well....

The bad thing about being over here is that I'm stuck in his room all day. Dehydrating & gasping for air. He's like why won't you come downstairs? Um, because your mother is down there! I try to avoid her as much as possible. I was happier in the week I wasn't here except when Will called to insult meh and all the drama with Barbara.

Oh good news! I have more money. I dropped outta school & they are still giving meh refunds but this will be my last one. I won't tell you how much I have b/c someone might find meh & rob it. You never know whose reading this blog. I think there are like random creeps online that go thur Blogger and read strangers thoughts. I don't do that, that's just lame. But yeah, Will is like I should save it for our future home. And that I never know when I'll to be homeless. Who said I'm going to be homeless?! Am I that much of a loser? Are u kidding meh?! If push comes to shove, I'll find some guy online & live with him. People are so paranoid about the internet. 10 guys & only one will be total psycho. I think my chances are pretty good. He said I can use it towards first months rent. I think I'm gonna need a couple hundred more to do that. I said or I can live in a motel for two weeks.I've done it before. I don't know.I really don't wanna spend the money.If I had saved it all I would have over $1,300 right now. I bought this laptop, limited edition Converse for Will, a tennis bracelet for mother with little diamonds (cheap ass piece of shit broke, Wal-mart still owns meh $60), a meal at Burger King for her, 3 Marta cards for school, an iPod touch & the rest was little items when I didn't have any cash. It's all on a debit card. I have a pin too. Wanna know it? It's my birthday :D Anyhow, he told meh I could spend $100, b/c that's plenty & to save the rest.Really? We're not even married & he's controlling my finances. He always tells meh, if we get married, your debt becomes my debt so no spending money you don't have. i.e. credit cards. Ugh, I wanna be rich!! Don't we all? But no seriously. Someone should be paying meh for this fucking blog. I mean c'mon. It's the coolest thing since Paris Hilton's sex tape. Yesh, at the time alot of us thought that was cool. Oh how young we were. So like yeah. his mother is cooking dinner. I'm not invited anymore b/c she hates meh. Fine with meh. It smells like spaghetti. Not appealing anyhow. I'm sitting here eating hot & spicy chips drinking cranberry juice from 10 hours ago. Yuck! No ice.