I Told Her To Shut Up!

I saw my therapist, Nike this morning.
She made some valid points again.
She told basically told meh that I should give up on William b/c obviously our relationship isn't going to go anywhere in the end. Completely true.
You'd have to be just retarded to not realize it.
A girl called meh stupid last night b/c I stay with William no matter what he does to meh. I denied it but she's really was right.

Nike told meh to just act like he doesn't exist. Basically do the same thing I've been doing for the past two weeks.Don't call him first, don't ask to hang out with him, don't text him (thur Yahoo IM) first & don't be so unavailable if he wants to hang out. If he wants to be with meh then he's gonna have to put some effort into it. I doubt he'd do that. She said that don't hold out hope for our relationship going anywhere. She said I didn't have to decide today or anytime soon to let go of him but I definitely need to realize he's not good for meh.

He's met the most awesome girl in the world. Teneasha so now I matter even less. She's a tomboy apparently. I thought I was a freaking tomboy. Ugh, it's whatever. I don't know why I'm so jealous of that girl. Maybe b/c my boyfriend would rather spend time with her than meh. I mean I know nothing is going to happen but it still bothers meh.

He called meh while I was writing this blog. He was like I love you. You really are a great girlfriend. You do ALOT to make meh happy. Even tho you're psycho most times I know you'll always be there for meh & you're never gonna cheat on meh. That's why I keep you around. (keep meh around? NO, I keep him around, I really do) Ugh, that was far too nice to come outta his mouth. I wanted to ask him if he was drunk but he gets mad when I do that. I just noticed he's only nice & chill to meh when he's drunk. If I could always have him wasted he'd be a perfect boyfriend, well semi perfect. Alcohol breathe is just yucky.

She always threatened to stop treating meh if I don't frequently take my medicine. I was like no! You can't do that.I'll jump off a bridge. She was like Brittanie! I'm like I'm kidding but I'd totally be sad. She asked what did I get outta coming to see her. I said, seriously? I don't know. I only come here b/c I think you're pretty. I'm like "oh no, that's my real reason" I'm such a creep right? But seriously, I can't believe she's thinking about not treating meh anymore.I knew the evil doctor was gonna crub off on her. She said she's been having talks with Dr.Jindau. That old lady is out to ruin my life. What did I ever do to her?! Nike said she's just worried about meh. No she's not! Nothing is going to happen to meh. I'm like SuperGirl. I can't believe they're doing this to meh. This is so unfair! Why is everyone trying to change meh?!

Towards the end of the session. I got really annoyed with what she was telling meh & told her to shut up. It was like word vomit. It came out of nowhere. I didn't even realized it til she got silent & was like "Brittanie, did u just tell meh to shut up?!" I was like "omg, I did. I'm so sorry" She made this sad look on her face & gave meh puppy dog eyes. It was so adorable. I was like awww,are u gonna cry?! She's like no,I'm not gonna cry! Then we both burst into laughter then walked outta her office. In the hallway she was like "I'm gonna tell you I'm secret"
I'm thinking what kinda secret could you possibly tell meh?!
She told meh that if I don't let William have control over meh then everything will get better.I'm like dude, that's hard! But I'm going to try.