I Scared Off His Potential Girlfriend :D

William is mad at meh right now. All over a girl (and my annoyance), can u believe that?! Most of our big arguments start with another female, even if it's just his mother. She's still a chick, right?

That girl he met at the park, Terra, well he's really into her. He likes her (not in that way he says) but as a friend. He wanted us to all hang out but apparently I scared her away screaming at him. We spent the usual four hours at the park yesterday. When we first came to the park, the court was empty. Chris, a regular there later came. Will shot hoops for a couple minutes. He made most of the shots. I'm the "ball catcher" What I'm there for is basically, catching & retrieving the ball when he gets a shot (or misses it) That's my job. (Terra even took over that, the one thing I can do! I'm not good at sports. I haven't shot many hoops but I've only gotten 4 of the 50 in my life.) He wanted to go to the court inside so we did. That's where EVERYONE was literally,like 40 guys there. I started to feel really bad about myself. Being the only girl there, that's like a lot of pressure. They didn't even have any pretty girls to look at it which meant that gave them time to really focus on how horrible I look. I wanted to shrink down & fall thur the floorboards. I tried to not make eye contact with any of them & hoped they wouldn't even notice meh. I really hope they didn't. Well, Will takes meh places, at least he's not embarrassed by meh.All I could think was they were thinking "goddamn, dude has an ugly ass girlfriend!" You know how guys are....One guy playing ball had his baby in a stroller. The kid was so cute I thought it was a girl. He had big eyes & a full head of curly black hair. His father asked meh to watch him while he was playing & to let him know if he started crying. I was like sure with a confused look on my face. I was listening to my iPod, it's not like I would have heard the kid.

We were in there for 15 minutes when we both decided we wanted to go back out. On the way out Will stopped to talk to Chris. I walked out into the hall & Terra came in behind meh. When Will came out like an idiot I was like Terra just went right past you. He got all happy. Did she really?! Where? I said yeah, you were too busy talking to that guy. He said so she's in there! I said yeah, go talk to her. He did, I waited in a chair, they came back out together & we went to the court. He introduced meh to her. It was awkward. He just introduced meh as Brittanie, not this is "Brittanie, my girlfriend" I went to the side of the court (ants weren't there) and sit there but then I said "no, I'm not gonna let my boyfriend have all this fun with another girl without meh" Yes, I have issues. I put my iPod into my tote, took off my hoodie & went into the playing area. They talked. I don't like how he can talk with other girls but god forbid he could ever have a convo with meh, well a real convo that doesn't make meh feel bad about myself. I was like "ugh, how insulting is this for meh?!" She got into girlie talkative mode
Terra: Yesterday, I was so hot & sweaty, I wanted to eat but I didn't wanna go home so I got food & went to Walmart"
William: I know, I was like soaked with sweat
Terra: I hurt my knee (she showed it to him)
William: Meh too, both of them (he showed em to her)
I zoned out of the rest of the convo & started hanging on the fence under the hoop like a stripper on a pole. He was like "you're just gonna hang there?" I said well, I have nothing else to do. They were talking, laughing & playing ball. She was doing what I usually do catching the ball & throwing it back to him. All I could think hanging there, was how everyone always sees meh there with him, now he's ditching meh b/c another girl is cuter, more athletic & just overall cooler than meh. I wanted to cry on the court right then & there.

She left her food in the corner of her court & didn't come back for an hour. He was like who leaves their food on the court? I said well she thinks we're watching it& we're the only ones over here. In a couple of minutes her food was covered with ants. She almost caused a massive ant infestation with her lunch. I was like gee, you really know how to pick em don't you? She's no brighter than I am obviously. She left her fork on top of the plate of food. It has a clear lid. I looked inside but it was all steamy from the sun. It looked like "spaghetti, meatballs & something unidentifiable.The ants were circling around the plate, all over the fork. Will knocked the ants off, they didn't get in & threw the fork thur the fence to keep the court from get infested further.
He missed most of his shots after she left. I was like "you're get it when she comes back" He's like "what do u mean?!" Oh please, he knew what I meant. He wanted to show off & impress her.
We waited for her for a while, she finally came back during a game Will was playing with the guys. I saw her...
Meh: You're here for your food?
Terra: Yeah.....
Meh: the ants kinda got to it.
Terra: Y'all threw it away?
Meh: No, he put it in his car, want meh to get it?
Terra: yeah, that's what I came for.
I was nice, grabbed Wills keys & went to get it for her. She said thanks, I said you're welcomed, even tho I wanted to say "bitch, stay away from my boyfriend"
Fatass, who brings an entire plate of food to a basketball court then leaves it on the court in the sun while she disappears for an hour?! She is not the sharpest tool in the shed.

After about two & a half hours, I became really annoyed.I had been sitting on the hot pavement for a good while. Will was like why do you have to be so weird, you couldn't sit on the sidelines of the court? I was sitting in the middle of the court. I couldn't sit on the sides of the courts b/c they're infested with ants. I still got bite by one despite my efforts to avoid it. Around 7:30 I stumbled off the court to the car. He was like like are u mad? I said no, I'm just tired. He asked did I wanna go soon? (pretending to be concerned) I sat in the car until 9. He came to check on meh once. This time wasn't as bad as Sunday night. That almost killed meh. I let the seat all the way back & went to sleep. When I woke up in an hour, I was itching insanely. I mean I couldn't stop. I examined my body to find, get this 11 mosquito bites.Those are just the ones I could find even tho I was itching everywhere. I let the window on the passengers side down. I had to or I'd suffocate in the car. The car was parked under a street light & it was dark. You know what happens in that situation? Mosquito's & all kinds of bugs surround the area. While I was sleeping, a few flew in & bit meh or maybe it was the same one. Hell, I don't know.I was sleep! He always tells meh just a few more games.I don't know why I keep falling for that. It really means I'll be waiting around for him for another two hours.

At 9, I got really fed up with sitting on the car. All the guys were leaving the courts. I expected him to leave also. Three guys stuck around, then Terra came around. They talked & started playing ball together.I was annoyed.I will admit that. He tells meh we're about to leave then he just blows meh off b/c he wants to hang with her. He asked meh to come back & play with them. If I wanted to be on the court I wouldn't have left over an hour before that. I let them chill for about 20 minutes. Then I called my mother to tell her about all the bug bites I had acquire. She said something to meh that triggered meh (it seems like William is trying to get rid of you leaving you in cars & letting all these things happen to you) I agreed with her. I was pissed now, not at her, at how Will always treats meh. I stuck my head out of the window & yelled "William, c'mon, let's go now or I will beat you with my shoe" He doesn't doubt meh. I've done it before. That made meh look bad also.I'm the psycho jealous girlfriend. I just felt like in that moment he made meh 2nd best to her. As if I don't already feel totally inadequate. I tried to not get jealous or question myself but it's hard when he thinks all these other girls are so amazing & I'm just some girl who's around b/c he feels sorry for meh.

He made a reaction like a little kid when their mothers tells them they can't have a certain toy & they get irritated. Terra said "he's coming". In the car he freaked out on meh for embarrassing him in front of the guys & most importantly a girl. He's like you treated meh like you were my mother, now she's gonna think I'm "pussy whipped" Who cares what she thinks? It's not like she matters. He does, he obviously would rather hang with her than meh. He was like I just want us to have some friends, forgiving meh for bringing her into our relationship. Please, tell meh I'm not the only one who's thinking what he said was like totally wrong. I know what he meant. He wants us to have more friends that we can BOTH hang with but he used the wrong context to express that opinion.

I told him, he didn't have to come when I demanded him too.He claims he did or she would have thought he treated his girlfriend bad. OMG! He does. See, he pretends to be something he's not around his friends and others. He was like so either way I was screwed in the situation of what you did. I don't feel bad. I mean, that's not fair to meh. Then in the car on the way home he made sure to mention everything he wishes I was. Why is he with meh if I'm not nearly good enough for him?
Here's his list....
He wishes I was
-light-skinned
-my lips were bigger
-I had smoother skin & it was tighter.
-I was athletic
-I wasn't annoying
-my voice wasn't all winy & high pitched
-lots more, I was too annoyed to even memorize everything.
I was like tighter skin? I've never heard that. What am I?! An 80 year old woman with sagging skin & boobs. I admit I'm not exactly in shape or toned. I'm puny & weak but he doesn't have to insult meh about it. I mean seriously, I'm aware of what's wrong with meh.
He said when he met meh he thought I was athletic but I'm really just anorexic & joked that I'm false advertising. He grabbed the excess skin on my leg. My legs are thin but they haven't always been this thin. I've gained weight & lost it. Now I'm at the stage where I have that floppy type skin on my thighs. He wishes I was toned like Terra. Now that I think about it, when he described what he wishes I looked like, he described Terra! That hurt. I don't get it, he has to hurt meh & so does his mother. What are these people trying to do to meh?!

We actually had a pretty sucky night. He got drunk. He claims he gets drunk to deal with meh b/c I'm so damn annoying. If you have to drink to put up with someone, I'm not so sure that's a healthy relationship. We watched three episodes of Degrassi, my fave show & one episode of the Boondocks. One of his favorite shows. It was highly annoying. It was about getting anally raped in prison. Seriously, what is his fascination with that? He even wanted to know if there was a Degrassi episode involving rape. There was, I found it & he was disappointed when they made the scene PG & barely showed anything. He's like "that's it?!" The night ended with him watching Eddie Izzard on YouTube & then sleeping on the floor. I was glad. I got the entire bed to myself but it wasn't as great as I thought it would be. That's actually the second night I've had the bed to myself. I slept the wrong way last night.I'm not use to having all that much space in his bed.I woke up this morning& my back was killing meh. I think I slept on my tummy & it arched my back causing it to ache this morning. He usually tortures meh while we're sleeping. He sweats are over meh. It's sticky & disgusting.He literally sticks to meh. I hate sleeping with him. Tonight I will be really glad to be back in my own bed not having to question myself why I'm sleeping next to a guy, who's not sure about meh. He actually said that he isn't sure he wants to marry meh, sometimes he sees cute girls & it scares him. Really? That sounds like b/c there are other girls in the world (we can't all be super attractive) that he has to question being with meh?! That's messed up. I can honestly say I don't see other guys & question if I wanna be with him. I started crying with my face in a pillow. He asked meh how did I know he was the one for meh. I don't know but I'm willing to make it try. He's not even trying. Last night & this morning made meh feel like our relationship is pointless. I don't like this feeling. He's so unconcerned about everything involving meh. I tried to talk to him in the car, he ignored meh & blasted his music on the way here. Plus his mother is getting to meh. Everything she says replays in my head a million times. I can't believe she thinks all those bad things about meh.Well, yes I can but it hurts. He's really close to his mother, so if she despises meh what makes either of us think this will work in the end?! I don't wanna lose him *rolls my eyes*