These next few posts will be fucked up. My mind is so scattered. I'm having the hardest time pulling these thoughts outta my head and putting em into words. They're all running around trying to escape whatever is after them....
I feel as if my head could POP. I mean it's seriously painful. I might pass out before i finish all these blogs....
Well we solved the mystery, Williams mother found my blog from a link on another page.
That page was my PrettyThin profile b/c that's the only place these links are posted publicly.
She's such a stalker and she's wrong for for.
Will keeps saying it shouldn't bother meh & that I'm making a big deal out of it.
NO, I'm not & yes, it does. She screamed at meh.
You don't scream at a "psycho" girl. You'd think she'd know that!
That's gonna bother meh for months to come (or until the day I kill myself)
Apparently she thinks I'm stupid. He thinks I'm stupid. This whole damn planet thinks I'm stupid. I never thought I was stupid til high school ended and they kicked meh out into the real world. I feel so helpless and pathetic out here. I can't do anything, RIGHT.
I just wanna go to sleep and NOT wake up, I don't wanna live. If I keep saying maybe it'll come true. PLEASE, I've never wanted anything more than I want death. I've wanted it since I was 7.
I'm NEVER be anything more than I am now. I'm sorry.
Will asked meh was there anything I wanted to do in life.
I use to have hopes and dreams but they all went away somehow.
I'd like to think all the years of crying, my tears washed em all away...
I;m not happy being who I am but it's who I am and there's really nothing I can do about it.
Right now I wanna die. Fuck what William says, fuck what his mother says, fuck what my mother says.They don't get and they never will.
I just wish someone understood meh and what I'm going thur. But there's no one who does. I swear it hurts so much.They don't have any idea what it's like to be meh.
I'm NEVER happy, I have to always fake a smile. Everyone labels meh as a loser.
All I ever do is cry, scream, crack up and cut my wrist.
You'd think by 20 I'd be happy, I just can't be. I've cried myself into a headache.
I've spent the last 3 hours crying. It's too much. I just don't.....
NOT even my own mother understands.
I feel like I'm trapped in a box that I can't get out of & I try but I always fail and I'm stuck in this fucking box.
I gotta do this, really soon.
I know I'll be dead and I won't be around to see it but at least I'll die knowing I accomplished something....I've never managed to do anything right in my life. At least I can kill myself and call it a day.
THINGS WILL NEVER BE OKAY. THINGS WILL NEVER BE OKAY. I don't regret many things in my life BUT THE DAY I REGRET MOST OF MY LIFE I didn't even have control over, IT'S THE DAY I WAS BORN. Someone screwed up majorly when they decided I would be brought into this world. I just wanna die, I don't care. It's the only thing I can think about. So tonight I'm making a list of ways to kill myself and I'm going try em all over and over again until they work. I have a pretty good idea of what I wanna do. I'm not slitting my wrist in the right places. If I cut that area inside where my arms bends inwards, that's bound to work. I've seen how much blood can come outta there :)
I feel as if my head could POP. I mean it's seriously painful. I might pass out before i finish all these blogs....
Well we solved the mystery, Williams mother found my blog from a link on another page.
That page was my PrettyThin profile b/c that's the only place these links are posted publicly.
She's such a stalker and she's wrong for for.
Will keeps saying it shouldn't bother meh & that I'm making a big deal out of it.
NO, I'm not & yes, it does. She screamed at meh.
You don't scream at a "psycho" girl. You'd think she'd know that!
That's gonna bother meh for months to come (or until the day I kill myself)
Apparently she thinks I'm stupid. He thinks I'm stupid. This whole damn planet thinks I'm stupid. I never thought I was stupid til high school ended and they kicked meh out into the real world. I feel so helpless and pathetic out here. I can't do anything, RIGHT.
I just wanna go to sleep and NOT wake up, I don't wanna live. If I keep saying maybe it'll come true. PLEASE, I've never wanted anything more than I want death. I've wanted it since I was 7.
I'm NEVER be anything more than I am now. I'm sorry.
Will asked meh was there anything I wanted to do in life.
I use to have hopes and dreams but they all went away somehow.
I'd like to think all the years of crying, my tears washed em all away...
I;m not happy being who I am but it's who I am and there's really nothing I can do about it.
Right now I wanna die. Fuck what William says, fuck what his mother says, fuck what my mother says.They don't get and they never will.
I just wish someone understood meh and what I'm going thur. But there's no one who does. I swear it hurts so much.They don't have any idea what it's like to be meh.
I'm NEVER happy, I have to always fake a smile. Everyone labels meh as a loser.
All I ever do is cry, scream, crack up and cut my wrist.
You'd think by 20 I'd be happy, I just can't be. I've cried myself into a headache.
I've spent the last 3 hours crying. It's too much. I just don't.....
NOT even my own mother understands.
I feel like I'm trapped in a box that I can't get out of & I try but I always fail and I'm stuck in this fucking box.
I gotta do this, really soon.
I know I'll be dead and I won't be around to see it but at least I'll die knowing I accomplished something....I've never managed to do anything right in my life. At least I can kill myself and call it a day.
THINGS WILL NEVER BE OKAY. THINGS WILL NEVER BE OKAY. I don't regret many things in my life BUT THE DAY I REGRET MOST OF MY LIFE I didn't even have control over, IT'S THE DAY I WAS BORN. Someone screwed up majorly when they decided I would be brought into this world. I just wanna die, I don't care. It's the only thing I can think about. So tonight I'm making a list of ways to kill myself and I'm going try em all over and over again until they work. I have a pretty good idea of what I wanna do. I'm not slitting my wrist in the right places. If I cut that area inside where my arms bends inwards, that's bound to work. I've seen how much blood can come outta there :)
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